


Swear on the Stars

by SilverAmoebasquid



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: M/M, and thats okay, so i had to, some hurt/comfort for the stockpile, sometimes saimota makes me cry, they're just really sweet and soft and I love them....., this fic makes me sad but I love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 17:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16791553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverAmoebasquid/pseuds/SilverAmoebasquid
Summary: A year ago, making this decision would've been easy for Kaito... because a year ago, he hadn't known Shuuichi and he wouldn't have had anything to leave behind.





	Swear on the Stars

_Why_. Kaito’s hand tightened around his phone before he clicked the screen off and set it down on the bedside table. _Why do the stars have to be so damn far away?_

There was no time to think about something like that now. There were other more important things to think about. Kaito rolled over, pushing the sheet off his shoulder. The summer night was warm even with the fan on and the window open. Kaito, usually a warm person anyway, had woken up five nights in a row, uncomfortable and sticky with sweat, but his annoyance always faded in seconds when he realized why.

Content to subject himself to another warm night, Kaito shifted toward the middle of the bed and draped his arm around Shuuichi, feeling the unneeded warmth seeping from his back into Kaito’s chest.

With his boyfriend already fast asleep, Kaito moved carefully, making sure the sheet pulled up against Shuuichi’s chest wasn’t disturbed even as Kaito kicked the fabric away to free his legs.

Shuuichi didn’t necessarily get cold easily, but he’d mentioned before that he couldn’t sleep without a blanket around his shoulders. But of course, that had been before they’d started dating, and Kaito wasn’t sure if Shuuichi would still need a blanket if he had a boyfriend around his shoulders instead.

Either way, Kaito had fallen out of his usual habit of taking up the entire bed when he slept, limbs splayed out and touching the edges of the mattress. Shuuichi didn’t take up much space, curled up and still, but having him there gave the entire bedroom a new dynamic, one that was softer and warmer. Kaito pressed his face against Shuuichi’s shoulder, glad to have him there, even it was a restriction of his freedom to toss and shove the blankets off the foot of the bed.

Every night for the past five nights, Shuuichi had been coming over sometime in the evening, uninvited. He asked respectfully each night if he could stay over, but by the backpack he brought with him, it was pretty clear he already knew what the answer would be.

Kaito hadn’t told Shuuichi what had been on his mind since exactly six days ago, but Shuuichi had picked up on it anyway and had thus, been spending the night. It was one of the good things about dating a detective-in-training. Shuuichi knew when he was needed without Kaito having to tell him.

Some might think having such an intuitive boyfriend could be dangerous. There was no hope of keeping secrets from someone who could see right through any lie without breaking a sweat. Kaito had never worried about this. He’d never had anything to hide from Shuuichi and hadn’t thought he ever would — until this week.

It was good to know that instead of prying for answers, Shuuichi’s response was to stay close by Kaito’s side and wait for the answers to come out on their own. Kaito hadn’t realized Shuuichi’s patience would last nearly a full week though. It looked like the deadline was going to approach first, and Kaito would still have to find a way to tell Shuuichi what was happening and make up his mind.

It was late, later than Kaito wanted to be awake, but with each passing day, he found himself more restless, unable to calm his heart and mind down enough to sleep. Without Shuuichi next to him, Kaito wasn’t sure if he’d be able to relax at all.

Guilt crept in first. Kaito really needed to spill the beans. Shuuichi was doing his part, being supportive, so Kaito owed him at least an explanation. Then there was the guilt that came with considering both options, knowing that his choice could tear them apart.

Curled up on his side, Shuuichi had no idea what Kaito was potentially about to do. He was so trusting. Kaito couldn’t stand to feel the slow movement of each breath through his chest.

Still careful not to shake the bed too much, Kaito rose, trailing from the bedroom to the back porch. There, the summer breeze cooled his skin that still felt too warm for comfort. In the deepest part of the night, Kaito reveled in the light of all the stars overhead, grateful that they would alway slook the same, whatever problems arose in his tiny, insignificant life down on earth.

The back door opened and shut again less than a minute later and Shuuichi rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

Kaito couldn’t help the grin that flooded his face. “Oh, come on. I can’t even sneak out of the room without you waking up? You’re not usually a light sleeper.”

“Well, I guess I’ve been a little more on guard lately.” Shuuichi shrugged and joined Kaito in leaning on the porch railing. “When I heard you get up, I was a little worried. You’re not yourself lately, Kaito. I’m listening if you need me. And I’m here even if you don’t want to talk about it.”

Kaito’s heart swelled, cutting off any slick reply he wanted to make. Not only was his boyfriend perceptive in consciousness, but he could even change the way he slept so he’d notice when Kaito left. After all this, Shuuichi definitely deserved a straight answer.

Still, the thought of admitting it scared Kaito. Instead of speaking, he hung one arm around Shuuichi’s shoulder and pulled him closer. There was something very comforting about his back against Kaito’s chest and their fingers intertwined on the railing. “I should’ve told you as soon as I got the email.”

Shuuichi looked up sharply, his eyes dark in the unlit sky as he figured out Kaito’s conundrum on his own. “You got picked?”

“I got picked,” Kaito confirmed. A soft smile rested on his lips as he gazed into the abyss of twinkling stars overhead. He could be up there among the stars soon, if he said yes, if he could make the impossible decision. A harsh laugh broke through. “I don’t know if I can though. I’m all talk. I’ve told everyone who will listen that I’m going to go to space but now that I have the chance, I don’t know if I can say yes. Part of me doesn’t want to go anymore.” A year ago, there wouldn’t have been a moment’s hesitation. Kaito would’ve given anything to stay among the stars indefinitely. But a year ago, he hadn’t yet found his reason to stay with his feet planted on the earth’s surface. A year ago, he wouldn’t have been leaving behind anything worthwhile.

“You have to go,” Shuuichi said, but his voice didn’t hold any of the inflection Kaito was used to hearing. “It’s your dream. You can’t let me hold you back from space. I’ll still be here when you get back.”

The uncertainty in Shuuichi's voice made Kaito's arms tighten around his boyfriend's shoulders. He knew Shuuichi still would be there when he returned, but going so far away, it was still scary to think he might not be. “Are you sure?” Kaito asked. He wasn't sure who the question was directed to.

“It's not up to me,” Shuuichi answered, logical as always. Kaito wasn't going to be able to escape making the choice on his own.

Kaito hummed softly, resting his chin on the top of Shuuichi's head. Beyond them both, the stars glittered hauntingly. Sometimes they felt like magic to Kaito but tonight, they just felt cold and hard and distant. Kaito wanted to retreat back into the bedroom with Shuuichi where it was soft and warm and nothing beyond the reach of his fingertips mattered. “I never thought there could be anything or anyone capable of competing with the stars for my attention.”

“I won’t let you give up on your dream, Kaito. This is really exciting for you and I’m genuinely really excited for you to go. This is going to be your most exciting adventure yet and I can’t wait to hear all about it.” Shuuichi seemed to relax backward into Kaito a bit, probably just tired. But Kaito didn’t want to go back inside yet. He wasn’t happy yet.

The twinkling stars overhead beckoned to Kaito, calling him forward, pulling his eyes off the ground and into the heavens like they always did. For as long as Kaito could remember, they’d always been calling him. This was the first time he’d resisted the pull. “Are you going to be okay if I go?”

“I’ll make it. You know I will. I’ll have to, right?”

“Well, I mean... If you were opposed... I haven’t said yes yet.”

“What? Why not?”

Kaito felt rather than saw Shuuichi look up at him and he averted his eyes quickly. He felt like he ws going to betray Shuuichi either way. To accept the offer was to leave his boyfriend down on earth alone for six months but to decline would be to back out on his dream, something Shuuichi would never allow. “Because I haven’t decided if I’m okay leaving you. Finally I found something that can compete with the stars and now the world is asking me to leave it behind.”

Instead of sounding sad, Shuuichi turned himself around in Kaito’s arms, leaning up to kiss his cheek as he laughed, low and quiet. “You act like you’ll never see me again. Voyages to the international space station don’t take that long and the opportunity might never come again.”

Kaito would’ve groaned if he thought he could get away with it. Shuuichi wasn’t making this any easier on him. “Leaving you for six straight months is worse than dying, Shuuichi. I hope you know that. Never being able to go to space is also worse than dying, though!”

“You’re being dramatic again,” Shuuichi scolded mildly.

Kaito opened his eyes to find Shuuichi still looking up at him, a faint smile on his face. There was something else, something in the starlight reflected in his eyes. It was a sadness Kaito didn’t want to deal with. But the smile couldn’t be ignored either. “Okay fine. Maybe dying is worse. But not by much.”

Shuuichi smiled and looked away toward the sky, satisfied. “So go tell them you’re in. You have my blessing if that’s what you were looking for.”

A few sly remarks made their way through Kaito’s head but none made it to his mouth. Instead he just smirked down at Shuuichi, before pulling him back toward the door. “The email is pulled up on my phone inside. Let’s go back to bed and—”

Pulling away from Kaito, Shuuichi stood at the railing. He didn’t look back at Kaito. “Go get your phone. And maybe a blanket. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to sit out here for a little while... and I need a minute to think.”

Something cold and sharp rushed through Kaito’s veins. Shuuichi had never been clingy but this aloof behavior wasn’t typical for him either. But of course, this was the first he’d heard of Kaito leaving him for the space voyage. There had been no warning, just the truth dropped on his shoulders all at once. He wanted a moment to breathe without Kaito trying to smother him.

Kaito stepped back inside, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. The distance to the bedroom wasn’t more than a few steps but it felt like a mile. Somehow knowing that he was going to accept this offer made it difficult to leave Shuuichi’s side. He wasn’t more than a few steps away but it already felt like miles. 220 miles or more, to be exact.

Grabbing his phone off the bedside table and the blanket from the bed took no more than thirty seconds, but by the time Kaito approached the back door again, it had been far too long.

He paused there, instead of going back outside immediately, watching Shuuichi out the window in the door. Dressed in light pajamas, Shuuichi leaned on the railing, eyes still tilted up toward the sky. His shoulders were tense under the tshirt he wore and though his black hair fell into his eyes, he made no move to brush it away.

Kaito pushed the door open loudly, making Shuuichi look up finally. Outside in the cool summer night, Kaito didn’t mind the blanket or Shuuichi sitting on his lap in the only chair on the porch. Kaito quickly responded to the email, Shuuichi watching his thumbs on the keyboard, quietly pointing out one misspelled word.

When the message was sent, Kaito set the phone down, returning his arms to their preferred placement around Shuuichi’s shoulders. The smaller man adjusted his position to get comfortable on Kaito’s lap before looking at the sky again. Kaito followed suit, appreciating the view of the stars, the sky wide open tonight and ublocked by clouds, trees or other lights. He would be up there soon.

His focus was quickly drawn back down to ground level and he blinked at Shuuichi. “You’re shaking! Shuuichi! Talk to me, please.”

Shuuichi coughed a laugh but it didn’t hide his reaction. He rested his head on Kaito’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”

“Damn it!” Kaito held his boyfriend tighter. “Don’t do that. Tell me what you’re thinking! Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?”

“As long as you come back to me.”

“Of course.” When Shuuichi didn’t respond at first, Kaito took a deep breath. “I swear I will come back to you. I swear on the stars. Promise me you’ll be waiting for me when I get back.”

Shuuichi was quiet for a moment. Kaito knew he was thinking the same thoughts. Six months was a long time for two people to be apart who had practically already pledged forever to each other. It wasn’t going to be easy for either of them. Finally, Shuuichi inhaled. “I swear... I don’t have anything as important as the stars to swear on. I guess I swear on my life that—”

Kaito cut off Shuuichi’s words by hugging him tighter. “Don’t ever say the stars are more important than your life. This is six months. If they wanted to send me to space forever, I’d never agree. You are the _only_ thing in this universe that is worth forever from me. Swear on your life. Because that’s the most important thing you can swear by.”

“I swear on my life, I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”

Kaito exhaled, satisfied with that. When his eyes found the sky again, it didn’t look quite so cold anymore. It looked like an adventure, waiting for him. “Did you want to sit out here for any reason in particular, Shuuichi?”

“Well,” Shuuichi looked back to the sky as well. “I don’t think I want to try and go back to sleep after this anyway. I thought I should spend some time getting to know the stars if I’m entrusting them with your life. Maybe you can teach me a bit about space?”

A grin Kaito couldn’t contain slid across his face. “I get to teach you something this time? Gladly. I’ve got some killer stories to tell from astronaut training! You’ll know them all before I leave and you’ll hear all the new ones when I get back. I swear on the stars.”


End file.
